


Focus

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-23
Updated: 2003-09-23
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14792651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna plans her own strategy after Toby tells her the news18th and Potomac





	Focus

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Focus**

**by:** Dee 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: MATURE**  


**Summary:** Donna plans her own strategy after Toby tells her the news. _(18th and Potomac)_  
**Author Notes:** This is my first. Be kind. 

The trick in any crisis is to focus. 

"He needs you to know."

That's what Toby said. And it brought her back from the brink of what she was sure was going to be a complete melt down. 

The President has MS. The President is sick and he didn't tell anyone and now all hell is going to break loose. Donna's first instinct was to scream like a banshee and pound her fists Toby on the shoulders and tell him to take it back. The President couldn't be sick. For so many reasons. 

Because he was brilliant. Because he was kind. Because he brought them all together. 

Without him they might fall apart. Her mind clouded over with abject fear at the mere suggestion of such a thing.

Then Toby said what he said. 

"He needs you to know."

That simple phrase was enough. It told her what she needed to. It cleared her mind and sharpened her reflexes. She left quickly after assuring him of her silence, not wanting to take the time to let him expound on what was about to happen. Perhaps it sounded cruel but there was nothing she could do for the President. She couldn't cure him. She couldn't prevent what was about to happen. The President was not her responsibility. He had Mrs. Bartlet to hold him together. 

Her job was Josh. 

And once she focused on that it made it simple to figure out what she needed to do next. She was in the middle of doing more research for the Tobacco Lawsuit, but that would have to wait. As she sat at her desk, she tried to mentally work through the details. Sometimes it was hard to stay focused. Sometimes she let the fear interfere. Fear of what was going to happen, of who was going to be hurt by all of this. And what would happen in the end.

Then came the realization that suddenly there was an end. It had been easy to avoid that fact, that one day all of this would end and they would start over some place else. That she and Josh would have to make decisions about what "they" were going to do, the whole time worried that Josh wouldn't think in terms of "them" but instead of just "him." 

But that was six years away. Or least it was. Now there was an end. Maybe within the next few months.

"No," she whispered to her monitor. "Focus." She couldn't control that. She couldn't control the press or Congress or the people. She needed to work on what she could control and that was making sure that Josh was prepared for the battle. 

Toby stopped by her desk and walked into Josh's office. She got up and followed him and closed the door. 

"Down stairs. The old photo room. That's where we meet. Just tell the guy� Sagittarius."

"Uh huh." 

"You sure you're okay."

"I know what I need to do."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. That's why I � he doesn't know yet. That I told you."

"Don't worry. I can handle him." At this she smiled. She was good at handling Josh. In fact she excelled at it.

"He's going to be pissed," Toby argued.

"He'll get over it," she replied.

He left and she waited until he was out of sight before she made her way down to the basement. There was a guard in front of the door and she blurted out her secret word like a kid getting ready to enter a club house.

When he started to open the door, she stopped him. "No. I don't need to go in there. I need to see this other room."

She pointed to her left and the SS agent opened that door for her. Inside it was musty. A basement, regardless of what house it was in, still smelled like a basement. Regardless, it would have to do. She backed out of the room and spoke to the guard about having some couches moved. He assured her he would take care of it. 

That done she left the White House and headed for her apartment. She was going need things. Once home she tracked down her suitcase and opened it. It wasn't lost on her that the last time she packed this bag was when she was needed in a crisis as well. She packed work clothes, extra jeans and shirts, panties, and her toiletries. He would insist on staying and she would insist as well. She could be stubborn that way. 

Then she drove to his apartment. Odd, but she felt no guilt about using her key to open his door when he wasn't there. It didn't feel strange or awkward or invasive. For three months she called his place home. One of the hardest things she ever had to do was leave. But she couldn't continue to sleep on his couch or cook him dinner or watch the Spin Room with late at night when he couldn't sleep. 

Sometimes she thinks it was after she left that he started to get bad. Not that she could have prevented the PTSD but maybe if she'd been here he would have talked to her more. She knew about the nightmares. She would wake him from them. Soothe him back to sleep. Sometimes on rare occasions she would snuggle against his back and hold him until he slept. 

Then she left. Mostly, she did it because there was no other choice. Part of her did it because she knew if she didn't gain some distance from him she would be lost. Everyone would know how she felt. He would know. He wasn't ready for that. She could see it in his eyes the day she packed her suitcase back up. There was such dichotemy there in his face. He tried to be funny. He tried pretend like it didn't matter. But she knew that part of him wanted to her stay. Only he didn't ask. And she knew it was because he wasn't ready. So she left. 

The distance lasted as long as it took her to go out on her first date. He hated it. She knew. It's why he said what he did, why she didn't take it as personally as she might have. So she tried to get him to go out on date instead but he wouldn't. So much for distance. 

Now there was another crisis. In a way it was sort of a relief. She could go back to her role of taking care of him without worrying about the suspicion she might incur from the others. They weren't stupid, any of them, but they all lived with a certain amount of deniability. No one wanted to admit that she and Josh were different. That their relationship was more than that of boss/assistant. That would lead to questions about the exact nature of their relationship and that would make things messy. 

And when you're busy running the country the last thing you need is messy. Maybe that's why the President kept his secret to himself for as long as he did. Maybe he didn't want to make it messy for anyone either.

Quickly, Donna gathered up shirts that were still in the plastic from the dry cleaning plus two suits. Then in her bag she threw some jeans and T-shirts that he could work in late at night. She pulled out his boxers and thought she might sew his name in them for a little retribution. What would Toby say if he saw Josh's name in his shorts. Yes, that would definitely be worth it. 

And they would need the laughter. Things were going to get serious soon. Often what held them together in the worst moments was their ability to laugh with one another sometimes at one another. 

She would make Josh laugh despite himself. She would ground him in the days to come. It's what she did. That � and of course she loved him. He would cling to that as well. She knew that he fed off of her love like the Chinese food and pizza he ate every day. It gave him strength to the fight the next battle. 

Yes, she would give him everything he needed. That was her job. She just needed to focus.


End file.
